When I have kids, I’m going to do them a favor. I’m going to teach them TALENT AIN’T SHIT. The more I look around, the more I see mediocre foolishness. I used to think it was just comedy, but then I started looking on TV, at my numerous jobs, even at some of my girlfriends who ALWAYS had a GREAT dude in their life. I realized while I was underground, getting good, perfecting my craft, folks were out here with big egos, spreading their mediocre talent all over the world. The lesson I would teach my kids is confidence is more important than talent. Talent is subjective. Confidence is felt.
While here in NYC, I’ve
tried struggled on a daily basis to remain grateful, and not become bitter – at least not this early in the game. I see folks who clearly are not as funny as me get things I would kill for. I keep telling myself “your time is coming” or “no one can take your opportunity” or whatever quotes you’re supposed to tell yourself to not feel like a complete loser. However, I’m at the tail end of my quotes list and my patience is running thin. Couple that with being chronically ill and not being able to beat the pavement like I am accustomed to.
However, instead of me complaining about the state of affairs because it’s working against me, I’m trying to figure out what I need to do to make it work for me. I refuse to be one of those bitter-ass comics who complain about and point out every person at every show they’re funnier than and go on a rant about life not being fair. I simply need to figure out a way to make everything I got going for me work in my favor.
I’m really not sure how to do that. And there in lies the challenge/problem/obstacle/shit that is keeping me broke. If one more person tells me “you got to put the work in” without telling me exactly what the fuck “the work” is, I’m going to scream! Every time someone gives me advice, it sounds like a fuckin riddle. I don’t think I’m that slow, hell I have a Mechanical Engineering Degree and an Applied Mathematics one as well. I managed to get myself out of my mother’s abusive household, and convince various strangers to pay me a decent amount of money to sit in a cubicle 8 hours a day. I’m not an idiot. But, apparently I’m not good at riddles.
So, my current plan of action: be cocky as fuck. I snickered when I wrote that. I’ve always prided myself on being “humble.” I’m now realizing I HATE that word. I’ve spent most of my life trying to minimize my intelligence, beauty, and sense of humor. I try to dumb everything about me down. I try to not be too pretty. I try to not be too smart. I try to make folks feel like we’re on the same level. Fuck. That. Shit. If ego is what’s trending, I’m about to be hashtagging, confidentmotherfucker.
I’m thinking the best way to beat mediocrity is with undeniable talent. Let the experiment begin.